I have been up since 6:15.
Dr. J. just bounced down the stairs after his refreshing sleep and attempted to use the main floor bathroom. Question: There are TWO bathrooms upstairs, why in hell are you coming down here to pee? One of those bathrooms is three steps from your bedside. Go there!
I look at him from the computer chair and utter these charming words:
“Do NOT go in that bathroom”
Dr. J “Why?”
Inside my head, “What the hell do you mean why?”
Outside my head, “If you need to go to the bathroom you just march right back upstairs and go there, because I was just in that bathroom…”
This is being typed in real time:
My oldest daughter has come down the stairs and says, “Who is gone?”
Me – “What?”
Her- “Who is gone? The garage door just opened”
Me- “I just turned the bathroom fan on. For gods sakes people leave me alone!” Dr. J is smirking.
I am 18 days away from having a baby. This is what our insides look like before we get pregnant.
THIS is what our insides look like at the end of pregnancy. Where do our intestines go?
So. This is why we get constipated, and why you should politely smile when a pregnant lady tells you to not go in that bathroom.