It went something like this.

“Oh My God, Jeff! Look at this. Is this a snail?”

I am standing on the back porch on a hot summer’s day. I have just been pulling all the weeds out of a garden bed so that I could take pictures of it to update my blog. You read that right, manual garden censoring right here on this blog. I am wearing my green crocs that my dad gave me years ago. Yes, I have the same size feet as my dad, and not because he is a particularly small footed man. What I had mistaken earlier as water of some sort or another has turned out to be a hapless shell-less snail. I am amazed.

“Jeff! Look at this! I noticed some shell-like debris in the garden but thought they were tiny mushrooms. They must have been some snail-shell graveyard.”

I am staring at this poor shell-less snail, slimy in its molluskness. I feel sorry for it and scoop it up to return it to its shell graveyard in hopes it finds a new home. I feel particularly heroic as I have saved it from a certain excruciating demise on my back deck –temperature 48 C.

A few hours later, after having cooled off from the summer’s heat and sipping on some icy lemonade, I ponder this unusual creature and decide to do some research. Yes people. I am the punchline.

The great garden slug that reproduces at an alarming rate and is a gardener’s bad dream has been safely tucked back into its snail-shell graveyard that probably is tiny mushrooms, or perhaps multiple slug eggsacks, who knows at this point…


4 responses to “It went something like this.

  1. Actually, it was a really good year for snails. Pesky buggers! We had them sneaking in through a screen window above our bed. Only one has surprised us while attempting to sleep 😮

    Perhaps if I had launched a campaign to save them, they would have left me alone…

  2. Bahaha! Thanks for the smile.
    p.s. I’m proud of you for keeping this up. 🙂

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